Fear and Loathing in Forks
by apldee
Summary: Alison Humphrey is about to marry Charlie Swan. Jenny inherits a new sister, Bella, and tries her hand at public school in Forks. Little does she know, Forks has just as many little monsters and secrets as Manhattan. xoxo, moi ;
1. Seasons of Change

**Seasons of Change**

Senior year.

I've always pictured how things would look for me. I would be queen bee, a fashion designer, top of my class… maybe with a cute boy at my side, who knows. Everyone would love me, my friends would worship me, and my parents would praise me. And then graduation day, the most glorious day in a teenager's life, better than puberty or any "first kiss", or even my first slow dance. After graduation, a whole new chapter in my life… college! Studying abroad, experiencing new things, and making new friends! Growing up in Brooklyn never prohibited me from having any of these dreams. Everything was perfectly in my reach.

Until I hit rock bottom.

It wasn't the false friends, the jealousy, or the rivalry that did it for me. Not the parties, drinking, drugs and clichés. It wasn't New York, it wasn't divorce or separation, no, it was rooted deep inside of me… A sad and tragic depression that sent me spiraling out of control. I used to be so good, so pure. I can't blame the Upper East Side for my mishaps. I can't blame Constance, or its rich and often snobby inhabitants. I can't blame all of the guys that made me cry, or the guys that made me feel whole… even if only for a moment. It was my constant need for attention, the way that I craved it and wanted so badly to be somebody that I was not. I just wanted to feel… needed.

Now I sit here on this plane, occasionally gazing out the window and hoping— no, praying for my life to start over…

I just never thought it'd start over in Forks. Washington is the last place I would've ever expected my mom to want to live, but after her last visit there and an unfortunate rescue from a suave police officer, love was in the air… and apparently so am I. If I could write a farewell letter to Manhattan, I'd tell them that there really is a difference between flying coach and flying first class.

Jenny Humphrey closed her journal and sighed heavily, just as the seatbelt sign lit up above her. A deep voice came on over the intercom, announcing that the plane would arrive in Seattle shortly and that everyone should turn off all electronics and get into their seats with belts buckled properly. Alison, Jenny's mom, wrapped up a meeting she was doing over the internet, and shut off her laptop. "Are you belted in honey?" Jenny rolled her eyes. "I have to go to the bathroom mom, I'll be right back." Jenny squeezed past her mom and hurried towards the lavatory in the back of the plane.

_Great, the door's locked. Shit._

Jenny did the potty dance, until the door unlocked and man stumbled out of the bathroom. His face was greener than grass, and he had regurgitated peanuts on his left cheek. "Gross."

Locking the door behind her, Jenny struggled with her fishnet stockings and Betsey Johnson skirt before slamming her ass down onto the tiny airplane toilet. Nothing happened. "C'mon, c'mon… this can't be happening right now, damnit!" She reached for the sink and turned it on full blast.

_Waterfalls, rivers, lakes, waterfalls. _

Finally hearing the fine tuned trickle of urine, she smiled sheepishly. Jenny had refused to use the disgusting bathroom during their whole flight from Denver, but knew she couldn't hold it any longer. There was a quiet knock at the door that startled Jenny, causing her to jump and not only pee on the seat, but rip her fishnets all at the same time.

"Hold on a minute!" A gentle ladies voice spoke softly "I'm sorry ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to wrap it up. We're about to land and you really need to be in your seat."

Jenny wiped up the mess, and desperately pulled at her skirt. "Yeah, okay, be right out." She could still hear the woman breathing and realized she had no choice but to leave without washing her hands. _This is disgusting… _Jenny thought, fleeing from the prying flight attendant and returning to her seat. She pulled the seatbelt over her lap and closed her eyes. Landing was the worst part about a plane. Taking off wasn't so bad, nor was the horrible little snacks and tiny cups of ginger ale the stewardesses passed out.

Landing made her head spin and her ears pop. As the plane finally came to a stop, Jenny lurched forward, hit her head on the seat in front of her, and barfed all over her lap. _Ouch… you've got to be kidding me._

Jenny sat in the airport terminal with a bag of ice held to her head by her mother. "Really mom, I'm okay… I just got a little woozy, that's all. You don't have to baby me like this. In public mom, we're in public." She knew that by arguing with her mother, she was only drawing attention to herself and making things even more embarrassing.

"Charlie will be here soon to get us, and we can get you home so you can rest. You look exhausted sweetie…" Alison brushed the hair from her daughters' eyes.

"Mom! What're you trying to say?" Jenny dug through her leather bag, searching for a mirror so she could see the kind of damage that poor person travel had inflicted on her. "Nothing honey, put the mirror away, you look fine. I'm just saying… the flight over was a long one and I know that I'm tired. You can't tell me you aren't." Alison smiled sweetly and took the compact mirror from Jenny, who yawned in return.

"Alison!" They both spun around to see a tan, dark haired man standing in the terminal, holding a sign that said Humphrey-Swan on it. Jenny eyed up the man, and laughed at the sign. What, was he some sort of every day comedian or something? "Charlie! Oh thank goodness! You won't believe what happened on the plane, poor Jenny…"

Alison ran off and Jenny sat alone, tossing the ice pack onto the seat next to her. If she got her dramatics from anyone, it was definitely her mother. A deep voice startled her. "Hey there kiddo, you alright?" _Wow, kiddo… this guy is a regular chip of the ole block. _Jenny scratched at the bump on her skull. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm Jenny." She extended her free hand for a shake and instead was pulled up into a bear hug. "No handshakes here, we're family now!" Jenny whimpered, causing a quick reaction in Charlie, who set her back down. "Oh! I'm so sorry… forgot you were a wounded officer. Let's get you to the car and get home so you can meet Bella."

Up until now, Jenny had forgotten about her newly inherited step sister. Bella Swan… who, according to the internet, was also a senior in school, drove an orange pick-up truck and had an incredibly sexy boyfriend. Oh the joys of google.

The drive to Forks was long and boring. Not only did Jenny have to sit in Charlie's cop car, but she also had to sit on a ferry, before doing more driving. As they came into town, rain began to pound down and lighting whipped through the sky. Jenny felt like she was in a mysterious sci-fi thriller, and the weather was affecting her mood. It was incredibly warm in the cruiser, no thanks to Charlie blasting the heat, and Jenny rolled down her window. She stuck her hand out and felt the cool rain against her skin.

"Are you sure you want to do that Jen? You felt like you had a fever earlier and I really don't need you getting sick before school starts." Alison looked back at Jenny, who shook her head. "I'm really hot mom, and the air feels good on my face." And it did, it felt incredible and smelt incredible. Brooklyn never smelt so nice; there was always trash and rat shit and other unmentionables stinking up the atmosphere. This air was fresh and crisp and clean. Jenny blinked away the little water droplets that were beginning to form on her eyelashes.

She wished it were light outside so she could make out her surroundings, but it was nearly September and daylight died down quickly. Tomorrow, Jenny thought, her eyelids getting heavy. Before she drifted off to sleep, she heard a faint howl in the wind. Jenny was too tired to make anything out of the sound, but something about it gave her a chill…


	2. I Feel Just like a Child

**AN: Hello everybody, and thank you for reading. I know I am a horrible fanficcer (did I just make that up?) and I start a story and never finish… but I will try my best! I'm doing things a little differently with this one and have some free time right now so I will hopefully be putting up more than one chapter a week. **

**Now I have to let you know before you read on, that this is taking place after season 3 of gossip girl, and right before New Moon. Which is going to make things interesting! Like I said, I will try to update as soon as possible. **

**Also, this story will be told mostly from Jenny's point of view but there will be little excerpts from each character in their point of view. Please enjoy.**

**I Feel Just like a Child**

It's day one in Forks and I honestly can't say that this situation has quite yet hit me.

Charlie's house is small, and I have to share a bedroom with my new sister, Bella. She is a dark and sarcastic girl, and very clumsy, but for the most part tolerable. And her birthday is in less than a week, so we're having a little birthday party slash wedding congratulations here at the house.

I've been asked to sew Bella a dress for the party, against her wishes… what kind of girl doesn't wear dresses? Anyways, she does seem a bit strange, kind of off in her own world. Can't say I blame her. There's nothing to do here and I'll give it two weeks before I go completely insane.

I start at Forks High tomorrow and I can't say that I'm not nervous… I know I shouldn't be but apparently the whole school knows of my arrival. Word gets fast around this town. I wonder if they read gossip girl here in Washington. I sure hope not, or else I've already made myself a reputation without even trying.

I forgot to mention something important… that big hunk of orange aluminum that Bella calls a truck is now my new ride to school. Maybe if I look hard enough, I can find Charlie's gun and end the misery now…

"C'mon Jenny, if you don't get moving you're going to be late for your first day!" Jenny examined herself in the tiny bathroom mirror, making sure she looked good from every angle. Normally she would be more effortless about her appearance but new places called for new impressions, and Jenny was determined to make a lasting one. She touched up her dark red lipstick and tousled her bleach blonde hair, before rushing out of the bathroom and down the stairs. Charlie looked up at his step daughter and gave her a look that was a cross between flabbergasted and disgusted. "What? You don't like it Charlie?" Charlie opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off by Alison, who gave her daughter an approving nod. "You look wonderful sweetheart, now hurry outside. Bella is waiting for you! And don't forget an umbrella!"

Jenny ignored her mothers rambling and hopped out the door. She inhaled the fresh, rain scented air and was filled with a warm fuzzy feeling. Today was going to be a good day. She'd find some moody and attractive guys to flirt with, and a crowd of hip girls to hang with. Things were going to be alright.

**Boom! **Thunder crashed in the dim morning sky, and little balls of hail began to fall from the sky. It was chilly in the old pick-up truck, and Jenny rubbed her hands together to try and warm them up. "Should've brought mittens." Bella rose up a gloved hand, and wiggled her fingers. "Took me two weeks before I got the feeling back in my limbs." she joked. Jenny forced a smile and slipped her hands into her jacket.

"Looks like you forgot an umbrella as well. You can borrow mine…"

"Does it always come down like this?" Jenny asked, ignoring her stepsister and gazing out the foggy window. "You hardly see weather like this in New York." Oh New York, how she missed it so. Jenny wanted nothing more than to snuggle up in her family's Brooklyn bungalow, sipping down scorching tea and eventually slipping off into a caffeine induced coma.

"Oh, yeah totally. Forks will grow on you though. I moved up here from Phoenix, where it's always hot." _Then why are you so pale? _Jenny was about to ask, but bit her tongue and held her remark to herself. She squirmed impatiently as they pulled up to Forks High School. "Damn this place is small." The parking lot itself was bigger than the actual school, she thought, but maybe small wasn't always a bad thing. "So what are the cliques like here? I mean, you guys have jocks and goths and preps right? That's the norm for a high school these days… Where do you fall in?"

"Oh, um, I don't really like to label myself… I guess you could say I hang with a different crowd." Jenny furrowed her brow and crossed her arms. "What about your boyfriend? Isn't he like, into poetry and stuff?"

"Yeah, you could say that. Um… we're here now. The umbrella is in the back seat, and the office is in that building right there." Bella turned off her truck, letting the rumble die down before locking up and running off to class. "Thanks…" Jenny said, not bothering to grab the umbrella and slamming her door behind her.

Advisory at 8:15. Period one was physics with Mr. Hunter, starting at 8:25. Period two was calculus with Mr. Lewis. Period three, art with Mrs. Bennet. With only 4 minutes passing time between classes, Jenny felt like she was ready to hurl, walking around this school in circles and late to every class so far. And now she had to go to gym? Jenny Humphrey did not do physical activities. She had a high metabolism and exercising just wasn't necessary. "This is ridiculous. I can get away with eating as many waffles as I want. This class is a joke." Jenny fought to get her uniform on in a tiny bathroom stall. The fact that all of the girls changed in front of each other in a large room full of lockers was baffling and Jenny would not stoop so low as to condone such behavior. Besides, she didn't need anyone noticing who she was, in case there was a chance that they too read gossip girl by some strange coincidence. If they hadn't noticed her clothed, they'd surely know who she was naked…

Gym class turned out to be a complete waste of time. It left Jenny feeling dirty and very hungry; thank god lunch was right around the corner.

Jenny stepped into the cafeteria and cringed. Every single circular table that filled the room was packed with students. They were laughing and gossiping and… chewing with their mouths open. Yuck. Her mother had warned her about cafeteria food, and Jenny chose to avoid the lunch line and head straight to the fresh fruit on a table in the center of the room. She peered around, scoping out a few decent guys, and spotted Bella sitting at what Jenny considered, the nerd table. An asian guy with a camera, some brown headed doofus who was flashing a cheesy smile in her direction, and two girls who were giggling about something or another.

She tried to slip past the table, but was spotted and flagged down by Bella. "Hey! You made it through your first four classes without bailing. Better than I did." Jenny smirked and sat down next to Bella. "Yeah… but I don't know how much more I can take. This is nothing like Constance." She said, biting into an apple. The nerd with the camera perked up and focused his attention on Jenny. "So, new girl… you went to private school right? Did you bring any of your cute little uniforms? You know, I'm a photographer for the school newspaper but I also do some freelance work…"

"**Eric!" **the whole table exclaimed. A darker skinned girl with glasses hit the boy on his arm and gave him a disapproving glare. "Gross, Eric, don't be such a perv!" The second girl spoke in a shrill, valley girl voice that resembled nails on a chalkboard. Bella ate her food quietly and occasionally passed glances over her shoulder. Jenny turned her head to see what could be so interesting that Bella was practically breaking her neck to look at.

And that is when she spotted them…

They were cool, collected, fashionable- hell, they were old fashioned. Jenny picked out the prettiest one of the group, admiring a stone necklace that sat perfectly on her collarbone. This was the table she should've been sitting at, discussing art and fashion and music. "Who… are… they?" The perky girl, Jessica, spoke up. "Oh, those are the Cullens… They're like, school royalty, but nobody sits with them or anything. They're kind of like, loners I guess you could say." Bella shot Jessica a dirty look. "They aren't loners, alright? They just like to keep to themselves. Nothing wrong with that Jess, jeez."

"The Cullens?" Jenny asked, snapping out of her daze and returning to the group. "As in, Edward Cullen? As in… your boyfriend?" The table fell silent and all eyes were on Bella. "Yeah, okay, he's my boyfriend. So what? Don't you have a boyfriend at home?" Wow, this girl was really touchy about the subject. Jenny knew better than to press forward, and so she focused her attention on the Cullens once more, trying to figure out which one was off limits. The one that stood out the most was dark haired, with a perfect jaw line and amber eyes. Though, it wasn't his beauty that stood out, it was the way that he looked at her… as if he knew that she was destined to be part of his life.

"What is his problem?" Jenny tapped on Bella's shoulder impatiently. "That's Edward. He doesn't take well to new people." Jenny laughed and rolled her eyes. "That's your boyfriend? Wow, I hope you keep a leash on him or something. He's really, really scary." Not bothering to clean up her mess, Jenny scooted her chair out and threw her purse over her shoulder. "I'm out of here guys. Nice chatting."

As she exited the cafeteria, Jenny made sure to walk right by the Cullens' table, scoping them out and in a way letting them know that she was here to stay…


	3. Edward and Alice

_**Are you sure about this?**_

_I've seen it Edward, you know how my visions work._

_**This girl is going to ruin everything. I can't let this happen.**_

_Edward… I'm afraid there's nothing you can do. Once Jenny entered Bella's life, you were destined to leave it._

_**But you already saw it… you said that Bella was meant to become one of us. You can't do this to me Alice.**_

_I'm so sorry… I wish I could change it Edward, I really do._

_**Then change it! I am not going to let this selfish human being take her away from me.**_

_You don't even know her, Edward._

_**But I've-**_

_Reading her mind tells you nothing! What's done is done._


	4. Someone I Once Knew

**Someone I Once Knew**

"Ouch, that hurt!"

"Hold still and maybe it won't." Jenny spoke through clenched teeth, as she hemmed the bottom of Bella's birthday dress. It had taken all night to sew it, and for some reason it was still too long, Jenny thought. She yanked at the thread and brushed loose string off of the black satin material. "There you go… Wow, you look hot." Bella blushed and forced herself to look in the mirror at the finished project. "Now come here and let me touch up your eyeliner."

"No, no I'm fine. It looks good." Bella bit her lip and crossed her arms in front of her. "What's wrong? You're hiding the dress when you do that; don't you want people to see what I made for you?" Jenny tapped her foot impatiently, until Bella finally dropped her arms to her sides in defeat. "Sorry, I'm just not used to wearing stuff like this. You can totally get away with it, you're like, perfect. I was not cut out for this kind of stuff." Bella pulled at the bottom of the dress and smoothed out any wrinkles.

"You look amazing Bella, admit it! Just wait until Edward see's you…" Jenny shivered at the thought of that perfect chiseled block of ivory stepping foot inside of her home. He was so perfect, like sleet marble or stone. But she also got that sick nervous feeling inside of her stomach… Edward didn't seem to like her very much, and she always got the weirdest vibe from him and his so-called siblings. "And I thought New York was scandalous…" Jenny thought aloud, recalling what Jessica had said about the Cullens all being adopted, yet all dating each other.

"What was that?" Bella turned her attention to Jenny, who just blushed and shrugged. "Nothing, just spaced out, that's all. Now let's get you downstairs so the others can see!"

Downstairs, Charlie and Alison were cozied up on the couch, waiting patiently for their daughters. A clearing of the throat, and then an announcement "May I present to you, the birthday girl, Bella!" Charlie sat up and took one look at his Bella, almost having a heart attack at how short her dress was and how dark her make-up looked and how the thin satin material clung to her body in a way that screamed prostitute. He fought the urge to contradict Jenny's choice of fabric and particular dress style; or lack of. It was, after all, his little girls' birthday, and if she wanted to look like she came straight from a brothel, then so be it.

Alison on the other hand, was ecstatic. "You look so good Bells! Oh my goodness, both of you get over here right now. Jenny, you did an amazing job with the dress! Charlie, go get the camera!"

It was all flashy lights and smooches and ooh's and ahh's and fussing over minor details, but finally, the two girls made it out to the porch where they sat in silence. "I'm not used to getting this much attention. Is this what it's always like for you?" Jenny sighed and shook her head. "It's much worse than this. You will not believe the amounts of attention I get in New York… but believe me, it's never good attention and if I could go back, I would've definitely stayed 'little Jenny Humphrey from Brooklyn'.

"That bad, huh?" Bella picked at the grass growing in between the cracks in the concrete steps they sat on. "Look… I know Forks isn't the greatest place to make a life… but it is the perfect place to escape to and start over. Once you get on track, I'm sure you'll be able to move back to New York and live with your dad. Heck, maybe me or your mom could talk Charlie into taking a little vacation over there." Jenny snorted and picked a dandelion from the lawn.

"Good luck with that." She said, plopping down in the grass and laying on her back. "I think my mom is done with New York… like, I thought she would miss it but she seems so happy here, with your dad and stuff. She never really had it easy, you know? Even before they divorced, my dad really never loved my mom in 'that way'. He always loved someone else, and that wasn't fair to my mom. I'm glad that we came here…" Jenny looked up at the clouds that spotted a nearly blue sky.

"Everything is so fresh. I feel like I have space to think." A relaxed smile formed on her face, and she closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of pine and rain.

There was a sound of gravel shifting, and in an instance, Jenny jolted up. "Edward's here!" Bella jumped off of the stairs and ran to the silver Volvo parked in the driveway. Jenny felt that nauseous churning in her stomach again and held back today's breakfast that was lumping in her throat. Why did she feel like this whenever she was near him? Or any of the Cullens, for that matter? She'd had her share of bitches and broads at Constance, but none had ever made her feel so cold and unwelcome.

"I think I'm gonna go inside." She said, jumping up and racing towards the front door. "Um, happy birthday Bella… hope you guys have fun with whatever you're doing." Jenny bolted inside, holding her gut, and ran upstairs to the room she shared with Bella. She threw herself on her bed and buried her face into the sheets. Something about Edward made her feel sick… he reminded her so much of somebody… his prominent European features, his dark hair and mysterious eyes. He reminded her of the one guy that had managed to disgust her in this same way. Chuck Bass.

"That Basstard."

"Edward, why are you acting like this? Can't you just tell me what's wrong?" Bella questioned Edward, who was speeding madly to his house, and clearly upset. "C'mon Edward…" she said, touching his icy hand. "…It's my birthday! You have to be nice on my birthday." Edward flashed Bella a cynical, dark smile, the one that would scare most but made her want him more. "I thought you didn't want to celebrate your birthday. All that crap about you being one year older than me. Wasn't that the case?" Bella couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or just plain mean. She frowned and kept her mouth shut.

If talking didn't help, maybe silence would get it out of Edward, whatever he'd been hiding.

A minute passed until they reached Edwards house in the woods, and still no answer as to why he was being so moody. "C'mon, let's go inside." Bella shook her head. "Not until you tell me what's going on." Edward snarled at her, a clear sign for her to back off, but Bella pressed further. "Edward… Please? My birthday won't be worth celebrating unless I know that you're happy. You can tell me…" Edward quickly made something up to get himself of telling Bella what was really bothering him; the truth, that he'd have to leave her in less than 24 hours, that he'd have to break her heart… and his own, if that's what you could call it. His stone heart.

"I'm sorry, I've just been on edge. I haven't been hunting in awhile and Alice has been driving me crazy trying to get this all set up. I knew you didn't want a big, special party or anything… but she insisted. Forgive me?" Bella leaned in and pecked Edward on the cheek. She loved him for that… for the honesty that he always portrayed. She knew that it couldn't be easy living a lie, let alone doing it around the things you're supposed to be… feeding off of. Bella admired him for his courage. "I love you Edward." Edward forced a smile and returned the vows. "I love you too Bella."

_Lies. If you truly loved her, you wouldn't leave her behind._

As they walked up the stairs to the glass house full of secrets, Edward fought with his conscience and hoped for the best.

_Happy birthday, my love._


	5. Clean Break

**AN: Hey everyone! Well, I've gotten only four reviews on this story but at least they're good reviews! So I am thankful. This next chapter might seem a little odd, so I'll help ya'll out by saying that this is when Edward is leaving Bella the day after her birthday. Italics are flashbacks to her party the previous day. Credit to Stephanie Meyer, the creator of gossip girl, and anyone else that deserves it. Enjoy.**

**Clean Break**

"We need to leave Forks."

"What, why?"

Edward shifted uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact with Bella.

"It's time. Carlisle's supposed to be ten years older than he looks; people will start noticing."

"But… when?"

"Now."

Bella looked down at her feet and bit her lip, taking it in and thinking of what to say.

"I'll have to think of something to tell Charlie… and Alison, and Jenny too."

Edward cringed, hearing Jenny's name infuriated him. If it weren't for her, he wouldn't have to leave the love of his non-existent life. He choked back guilt before speaking.

"Not you. Us."

Bella gave Edward a puzzling look.

"What…no…Edward, what happened with Jasper… that was nothing."

"Yeah… nothing compared to what could happen." Edward closed his eyes painfully.

"You don't belong in my world Bella."

"I belong with you!" Bella felt like shaking Edward. Why couldn't he see? He was all that she could ever ask for… Why was he acting so cold?

"You don't…"

"I'm coming Edward."

"I don't want you to come!" Edward gagged on his words, and knew that if he could cry, he would feel salty tears stinging his eyes.

Stunned, Bella fought back the urge to drop to her knees and sob.

"You don't… want me?"

"No."

Bella stepped back, trying to take in what Edward had just said. He was making no sense. Everything seemed fine up until her birthday… and the incident with Jasper, though it could've been handled more carefully, didn't result in any permanent injury. There had to be something else…

"_Open mine." Alice hands Bella a box, which she starts to open before slicing her finger on the razor thin wrapping paper. "Ouch… paper cut." She says, holding up her finger to examine the blood. There's a snarling and then before Bella knows it, Jasper is lunging at her, teeth bared. In a faster than fast reaction, Edward throws his arm in front of Bella, and pounces at Jasper. The impact causes Bella to fly backwards, landing on and shattering a table. Shards of glass stick to Bella's arm, and she winces in pain, but right now she can only worry about the love of her life._

She had to admit, the night before was pretty rough and completely abnormal, but that was no excuse to leave. Edward was being completely irrational, and all he needed was a little persuasion. Bella reached out to him, shocked to find him pulling away from her.

"I'd like to ask one favor though."

"Anything…"

"Don't do anything stupid or reckless… do you understand? For your family's sake, Bella. Just… take care of yourself."

Bella nodded, silent sobs escaping her lips.

"I…yes…I will."

Not being able to help it, Edward brushed the hair out of Bella's face. He lifted her chin and stared into her chocolate eyes.

"Don't worry. You're human. Time heals all wounds for your kind… particularly if you're not reminded."

Becoming desperate, Bella grabbed Edward's hand. It was like ice next to her pulsing flesh, but it was the most calming feeling she could grasp.

"No, this is… don't do this. Please."

Edward knew that if he softened up too much, he'd give in and Bella would win him over. He couldn't let that happen if he was going to keep her human… he had to stick to the plan.

"Try to understand. Every second with you is about restraint. You're too fragile. I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not… Reining myself in… so I can be with a human!"

Bella threw herself on Edward, clinging to his shirt.

"Then take my soul! I don't care… I don't want it without you."

Edward knew this was it… the final blow. He had to say something, and really sound like he meant it, to make a clean break. He closed his eyes, and shifted through his mind, trying to find the anger and sadness that would allow him to do this. He thought of his previous life, of his mother, whose face he hardly remembered. He thought about being a newborn, about hating himself and everyone else around him.

But there was one image that kept fighting its way to the front… the first time that he brought Bella to his house. They were in his room, and she was commenting on his remarkable taste in music. Claire De Lune came on in the background, Debussy… and Bella was speechless as he swept her up into his arms and they began to dance around in his room.

In that moment, he knew that he loved her more than anything, and though he hardly had the strength to do what he was about to do… if it saved her, he was determined to do it. He had found his sadness, the motivation to let her go.

"You're not good for me, Bella." _More like you're not good for her, _he thought, clenching his fists and hardening his expression.

"I've let it go on too long. I'm… I'm sorry."

Bella felt a pain, stronger than any pain she'd ever felt before, stab her in the ribs. This pain was worse than getting her leg broken, or venom entering her blood stream. It was worse than a paper cut… this was heartbreak.

She felt Edward's lips touch her forehead, ever so lightly. "Wait!"

She didn't even have to call out his name… Bella knew that Edward was gone.

Forever.


	6. Wedding and A Funeral, Part 1

**Wedding and A Funeral**

**Part One**

Today is the day of my mothers wedding.

The first time I went to a wedding, I was very young. To me, it was just a big birthday party with confetti, a big crowd and an even bigger cake. There was dancing, presents, and games. I had no idea that in actuality, two human beings were joining together in matrimony, promising each other eternal commitment. Looking back at my mom's marriage to my dad, I did see that commitment. There was my dad, committed to making a living so he could support us. Then there was my mom, committed to packing our lunches and getting us to school on time.

Alison and Rufus were committed, but not to each other… they were committed to their family, their children, everyone else but themselves. My mom was foolish to marry Rufus because I think deep down in her heart, she knew that she wasn't his one true love. But I wouldn't change a thing, because without the two of them, I wouldn't exist, and neither would Dan. And though it's been a bumpy road, and my life is far from perfect, my favorite memories are of me and my family, just sitting around the living room table and smiling at each other. Even if Rufus and my mom didn't exactly love each other, they sure as hell did a fantastic job of faking it for us kids, and that's all I could ever ask for.

Today is the day of my mothers wedding, and I know now that she truly loves Charlie, and that he loves her just as much.

Jenny Humphrey slipped her journal underneath her bed and sat quietly, scratching her head. In less than thirty minutes, she'd be off to town with her mom and Bella for hair and makeup. She looked over at Bella, who was buried under layers of sheets and blankets. This had been the case ever since Edward unexpectedly broke it off with Bella and skipped town, not to mention, the day after her birthday. Poor girl.

_Damn that Cullen for breaking her heart, she's going to ruin my mothers wedding._

"Bella!" Jenny screamed, throwing a stuffed bear at her stepsister. "Wake your ass up, we have to leave in twenty-five!" Bella groaned and shifted in her bed. Jenny got up and furiously tore the blankets off of Bella. "C'mon! We have a wedding to go to, and you definitely need to shower!" she said, plugging her nose. "You smell like week old pizza and stale chips, now get up!" Jenny watched as Bella dragged herself off of the mattress and across the hall into the bathroom.

Bella slowly undressed and stumbled into the shower. She closed her eyes and let the ice cold water run down her face, onto her pale skin. There was a hole in her chest, ever since her Edward had left, and now she couldn't even feel her skin turn blue. She was so numb, and she knew it more than anything.

_Edward, Edward, Edward…_

There was nothing else but shades of grey and his chiseled face. Why did he have to leave? Right before Charlie's wedding… It felt more like a funeral to Bella. This was her funeral. Everyone would be there to see, and she would dig herself a grave and fall in and let darkness consume her.

Shivering, but untouched by the cold, Bella threw a towel over herself and sat on the floor. If she was quiet enough, maybe Jenny would forget that she was in there and then she could have a moment of peace. She looked down at her hand, noting the crescent shaped scar on her hand. Running her fingers over it, Bella felt nothing, not the usual burn that emitted from the wound.

Overwhelmed by depression and confusion, Bella had begun to starve herself and ignore her family, How could he not know what he was doing to her?

There was a knock at the door, and she jumped, hitting her elbow against the wall.

"Bella, are you in there? We're leaving, like, right now!"

How had thirty minutes passed? Bella could swear she'd only been in there for maybe five minutes. "Yeah, um, I'll be right out." She dried herself off and threw on the same pair of clothes she'd been wearing before. Considering that she was headed to a salon anyways, Bella didn't touch her hair, and exited the bathroom where Jenny was waiting for her, tapping one foot impatiently.

"You didn't even change?" Jenny frowned at her stepsister before grabbing her arm and pulling her downstairs. "We're going to be late. I swear, you're older than me, I shouldn't have to take care of you like this." Jenny knew she was wasting her breath; Bella might as well have been deaf and mute after what she'd been through.

The day that Edward broke it off with her, Bella had somehow wandered deep into the woods and fallen asleep in the grass. Charlie was worried sick, and Jenny will admit that she was scared too. Who knew what was out there? The strange howling that Jenny heard that night didn't ease her worry. But alas, Bella was found by one of the natives that lived close by, and was brought home safe and sound.

"Alright mom, we're ready. Well… as ready as we can be." She said, nodding to Bella, who seemed off in her own little world. Alison Humphrey cracked a smile, too excited for her wedding to really worry about much else. "I can't wait to see you girls all made up!" she squealed, as they rushed out to the car and sped out of the driveway.

Yes, it was nice to be pampered for the first time in a long while. Jenny closed her eyes and hummed to herself, as they clipped and cut and dyed her pretty. After what seemed like hours of beautifying, Jenny woke from her salon coma and looked at the finished product in the mirror. "Oh. My. God!" She grabbed at her hair, which cascaded over her shoulders in lovely ringlets. The style would've been so perfect if it weren't for the fact that they had taken her platinum blonde locks and turned them into a soft honey brown.

Her mom appeared, beaming. "What do you think sweetie? I asked them to tone it down for the wedding. I think it looks so sweet, and so much more fitting to her face."

Jenny didn't know what to say, she was shaking, probably on the verge of hyperventilation. How was she supposed to tell her mother that she hated the color? It was her wedding day, and if anyone was going to be a diva, it certainly was not going to be Jenny Humphrey. And so she forced a smile and concentrated on her gorgeous makeup instead.

"I… love it mom, really, it's nice. You're right. It brings out my eyes."

To see her mother so happy over a change of hair color was enough to make Jenny force herself to like it. Even if she _did _look like a Blair Waldorf wannabe. Bella was presented next, who just stared blankly at her reflection. Her hair was also curled, pinned back into a soft coif. "You look really pretty Bella." Jenny said, playing with Bella's dark curls. She automatically expected no response, but was surprised when a meek "Thank you" escaped Bella's lips.

Just as Jenny was preparing to talk Bella into behaving politely for the wedding, Alison emerged from the bathroom, blotting tissue under her eyes. "Oh girls, the water works… already!" A few ladies rushed over to Alison, who was choking back tears and viciously dabbing at her moist cheeks. "Oh, mom!" Jenny embraced her mother, reassuring her that she looked more beautiful than she'd ever looked before and that everything was going to be okay.

"Let's go home and get you dressed." Jenny looked up at the clock, noting that it was a quarter after two. "Charlie should be in La Push by now, so I think the coast is clear."

The girls stepped outside into the autumn air, and Jenny looked around, thanking the heavens for a miraculous blue sky. It was a beautiful day for a wedding.


	7. Wedding and A Funeral, Part 2

**Wedding and a Funeral**

**Part Two**

Of all the days in Forks, nobody could agree more that today was one of the most beautiful days for something magical to happen. Not a drop of rain had graced the soil, and the wind rustled through the tree's, creating soft harmonious music. The small town had gathered at the beach in La Push to celebrate the wedding of Charlie and Alison Swan, who had married only an hour earlier on the earthy Quileute Reservation, home of local Native American people. Though the sun was nearing the horizon, the festivities appeared to have just begun, as crowds of people circled around bonfires, laughing and smiling together. The scent of roasted chicken, corn, and honey glazed biscuits hung in the air, drawing near small critters of the surrounding forest. The scene was picture perfect, so perfect in fact that you'd think anyone a fool not to be enjoying themselves.

_One hour earlier…_

As I follow Jenny down the aisle, where my smiling father is waiting happily, I can't help but feel the void in my chest growing bigger and opening deeper. Tears sting my eyes, but I let my lips curve into a forced smile and play it off as tears of joy. The happiest day of my fathers life and I can't feel anything besides emptiness and despair. I look to the left of the aisle, and then to the right, seeing Charlie's close friends. Their faces are bright and beaming… if they can feel something for him, why can't I? Have I really gone that cold? I reach my place at the end of the line, and take a much needed deep breath.

It's so hard for me to keep it together when I feel like crumbling to the floor. Charlie looks at me briefly, and something in his eyes tells me that he understands. Still, I feel like I'd be failing him as a daughter if I let my emotions show on his happy day. I grab his hand and squeeze, just as Alison makes her entrance. She's radiant, glowing and lively. My breath escapes through my lips, and my composure is out the door. I let the tears fall, and keep the small, innocent smile planted on my face.

Nobody has to know that I am mourning, it will be my little secret… a wedding is the perfect place to disguise my feelings, and I intend on doing so.

"Anyways Dan, just thought I'd fill you in on everything that's been happening here but you've been hard to reach so call me back when you get the chance. Hope you aren't cooped up in the loft eating take-out and blubbering over Serena. Love you!"

Jenny Humphrey (still Humphrey, she decided not to change her name to Swan) hung up her cell and sighed. Why her older brother Dan was MIA, she was yet to find out. It was so unusual of him not to call, at least text, but he was a no-show at his mothers wedding and Jenny hadn't heard from him since she'd moved to Forks. "Maybe he's just really busy with school." She thought, making her way over to the banquet table, where her mother and Charlie sat.

"Hey mom! Hey… Charlie." Jenny smirked and took her place next to her mom. "No luck getting a hold of Dan, but maybe he'll call later. He's probably really swamped with homework or something like that." Alison shrugged casually and took a sip of champagne. Charlie stood up and took Jenny by the hand. "I want you to meet someone." He said, dragging her away from the table towards a group of guys.

"I'd like you to meet my best mate, Billy Black." Jenny put out her hand to the man sitting in a wheelchair. His grip was firm and large his hand enveloped her fragile bones. "And this is his only son…" Jenny looked up, and peered into the warmest brown eyes, belonging to a very striking, tan individual. The light from the fire made it hard for her to see him fully, but it played off of his features very well. He was built like a quarter back, with long, dark shoulder length hair, and his facial features were very unique.

"I'm Jacob." He spoke in a surprisingly soft voice. Jenny stood there, taking him in, analyzing every detail about his appearance that she possibly could. A noise came from his throat, insisting that she stop day dreaming and get on with shaking his hand, which she did. Jenny shook her head, not wanting to let go of Jacob's warm hand. "Sorry." She said meekly, a pink blush appearing on her cheeks. "I'm Jenny." Jacob laughed a hearty laugh that warmed Jenny's soul. "The new girl, gotcha."

His tone was playful and Jenny felt comfortable talking to him. This particular guy didn't carry himself the way that the guys she was used to associating herself with did. He seemed careful and thoughtful, like gentlemen should be. "Totally not my type." She thought, noting her previous taste in the bad boy stereotype she'd looked for in a guy. "But my god is he cute!" Bella popped out of nowhere, seeming unusually chipper for her recently depressing self. "Hey guys. Jacob!" Jacob pulled Bella into a bear hug, smiling and patting her head with his oversized palms.

Jenny noticed his facial expression, bright and cheerful, as if he has just come upon a pot of gold. She watched as Bella buried herself into Jacob's large chest, and he cradled her in his arms like she was the buried treasure that he'd found after years of searching. Surely Bella knew that Jacob looked at her the way that she looked at Edward. Jenny would've given anything to have a guy, even just a guy friend, hold her that way. Bella had no clue how lucky she was, and Jenny would be damned if she let her step-sister continue moping around pining after the perfection that had left her so destroyed.

"It was so nice to meet you both." Jenny said, before throwing a sweater over her shoulders and disappearing onto the dark beach. Here she would sit and contemplate, letting the cold waves crash over her toes, letting nothing but the sounds of nature disturb her from her thoughts. Occasionally, she would glance over to the bonfire, where Bella sat swaddled in Jacob's jacket, color finally returning to her cheeks. She watched Jacob from afar, laughing while his father, Billy Black, told a story in a booming, thunderous voice.

And in the distance, she could swear she heard the now familiar sound of wolves howling.


	8. Dare to Dream

**Dare to Dream**

_The afternoon sky begins to grey, and I am lifted feet off of the ground by two muscle bearing arms. Cool rain starts pouring down on me, drenching me from head to toe. Spinning and spinning, swirls of rustic colors follow my gaze. I am surrounded by trees every shade of green and I am lifted higher into the air, and higher, and higher until the forest is but a tiny speck beneath me. I get that feeling in my stomach, the feeling you get from the big drop on a roller coaster, as my moment of sanctuary is snatched from underneath my feet. Down I plummet towards the earth, back to reality, unhanded and unharmed… and I am once again alone. The arms that held me up have disappeared, leaving a chill against the places where they firmly grasped before. A sense of abandonment overcomes me, and I fear that if something does not change, I will forever be this needy girl…_

Jenny jolted awake, alarmed and afraid, her heart pounding like a hammer. A bead of sweat formed on her already moist forehead, and she wiped it away, eyeing the bead of glistening saltwater that quivered on her trembling finger. She had the strangest feeling of falling, but there was mattress below her. A faint morning light began to peek through her window, alerting Jenny that it was probably around six a.m. She looked at her alarm clock. 6:05. Her gaze returned to her hands, they were still shaking, but her heart race had slowed down to normal. This was the third time in a row that Jenny had been startled by this dream, the third time she'd woken up with the same sensation tickling at her gut. Jenny fought to remember every little detail, she tried to hold on to every feeling before her day started and the dream receded into the compartments of her joggled mind.


	9. Mike, Menaces, and Masks

**Mike, Menaces, and Masks**

The week following her mothers wedding went by rather quickly for Jenny. She was becoming more familiar with going to a public school, and had to admit that the lack of gossip girl was refreshing. Though she had unsubscribed from the website, Little J still jumped the slightest bit when her phone buzzed, expecting a scandal to pop up on its tiny screen. A dozen times in the few days Jenny had thought about returning to the salon and having them return her hair to its former ice blonde self, but plea's from her mom and Charlie kept her put. Beside that fact, Jenny was not going to let being a brunette stop her from having her fun.

She spent her lunch breaks at school flirting with Mike, an unusually annoying prospect despite his good looks. On this specific day, a Friday to be exact, Jenny and Mike cut class and drove to Port Angeles to catch a horror flick in honor of the upcoming holiday, Halloween. It was Little J's first time in a movie theatre, and she found it rather uncomfortable sitting in the dark with a bunch of random people and staring at an enormous screen while munching on fattening junk food. But she had promised herself she'd try new things while living in Washington, and apparently Mike loved movies. Why was it that the guys in Forks were so low-class and simple minded compared to the guys on the Upper East Side?

Was it really that difficult to find a decent mannered, attractive, smart and interesting guy in this town?

Or were they really a dime-a-dozen?

After the movie, Jenny and Mike sat in his car in complete silence. This was supposed to be the scene where she told him how much fun she had and how much she enjoyed the flick, and then he acted all modest and then they kissed and all was merry. Instead, Jenny felt something churning in her gut, and in an instant she opened the passenger door and puked onto the curb. Mike jumped out of his car and rushed to Jenny's side, holding her hair back as she heaved. "Oh my god… oh my god… are you okay? Oh crap. Jenny!" Up came the dark caramelized liquid that they called Dr. Pepper, next was the buttery popcorn, and rainbow colored chunks of skittles.

"Oh that's nasty." Mike, having the weak stomach that he did, apologized quickly and rushed to the garbage can where he too began to vomit.

Jenny couldn't help but think that this was the worst date she'd ever been on. Even worse than losing her V to that Mother Chucker ass of a Bass.

"Mom, I swear I'm feeling better now. You can stop attacking me with that wet rag."

Jenny sat up in her bed and with the wave of a hand, her mother was shooed from her side. Bella started laughing for what seemed to be the first time since Edward and the other Cullen's had disappeared. "Oh wow. I knew you and Mike weren't a good match from the start." She joked, sprawling out on her bed.

"Shut up Bella, it's not funny! It was a total mess." Jenny chucked her pillow at Bella, who in return threw two pillows.

"I can't believe you threw up. I mean, yeah, Mike can be a little creepy, but you puked?"

Jenny pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. _So not funny…_

The following Monday at school everyone at the lunch table had heard about Jenny and Mike's date and they would not let her live it down. Jenny, for once in her life, frowned upon gossip because it had come back to nip her in the ass. Eric was the worst; he kept nudging Jenny and imitating the vomit scene that Mike had described to him on the phone the night before.

"Eric, would you stop being such a… a… menace? Go find somebody else to harass."

Eric looked a bit hurt by the remark, but heeded Jenny's warning and laid off. "Anyone else wanna take a swing at it?" She asked, giving everyone an evil eye. They all shook their heads no and returned to their lunch. Mike came in late and took his usual place in between Bella and Jenny.

"Oh, how nice of you to show up." Jenny said curtly while avoiding eye contact with Mike. "How many people did you tell about, you know, what happened?" Her voice was soft and her question was directed only to Mike. He shrugged and stood up. "Come with me." He whispered. Jenny had no choice; she would've rather had this discussion in private anyways. Now she could give him a piece of her mind for humiliating her.

They snuck away to an empty hallway and Mike opened up his locker. "What the hell Mike? What's this about? You get a date with the new girl and then because she gets sick from junk food, you're all hot shit now?" Mike said nothing. "You puked too might I add! And it wasn't because of the food, it's because you're a pansy and had a weak stomach." There was still no sound from Mike, who was rummaging through his locker.

"Am I wasting my time here?" Jenny tapped her foot impatiently, one arm crossed over the other.

Mike emerged from his locker with a huge cheesy grin planted on his face. In his right hand was a single yellow rose that had a black ribbon tied around its thorny stem. "I'm sorry… Will you go to the Masquerade with me?"

Jenny had heard about the upcoming Halloween dance, in which everyone was supposed to dress up and wear masks and all identities would be a secret. It seemed severely familiar to the dance she'd gone to in New York, where Nate mistook her for Serena and kissed her, and that nasty Chuck Bass threw himself at her on the roof. These memories were enough to give Jenny her answer to Mike's question.

"I can't… I'm actually gonna be out of town that weekend."

Mike's face sunk as his hopes were crushed. "Oh?"

"Yeah, I'm visiting my brother and dad in New York." She lied, biting her lip. Truth was, Jenny wasn't going to be able to visit her dad for a long time, not after she was exiled by Blair. She hadn't given it enough time to settle down, and it could be a year before there was a big enough scandal that everyone would forget about what she did.

"I'm really sorry Mike." Jenny rubbed his arm, but quickly retreated, not wanting to get the boys hopes up. "Maybe ask Jessica? I know that she's been wanting to go with you."

"Yeah, totally." Mike said, just as the bell rang and students began filing into the hallway. "Anyways, I'll see you around." Mike stalked off leaving a trail of desperation and Jenny sighed. Usually she was the one getting let down by guys. Unfortunately, it was never this easy. Her let down's usually involved a blast to gossip girl.

_Thank god for Forks._


	10. Author's Note

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in awhile! I will get started on the new chapter as soon as I can, I've been really busy with work and figuring out stuff for school, plus I was out of town for a week! But I promise I will bring you something new very soon.**

**xoxo, moi **


End file.
